My Head Explode!!

"Each person was like one line of music, but nobody knew what the symphony sounded like. Only the conductor had the whole score." - Paint It Black by Janet Fitch

I couldn't remember if I had used that quote before, but I didn't feel like searching through all the blog posts. Thus, I decided it was such a good quote that I would use it again.

That book is awesome too. 

My mind has been wandering lately. I mean, it's always wandered quite a bit, but the wandering feels slightly more frantic. I feel like I'm losing time to let it wander, which is why it is becoming so desperate. 

Is this making sense?

I'm not sure, but maybe there are more factors than just time. Holding time accountable for everything just seems wrong and unfair. While it IS a main factor, I can't blame it for the fact that I have so many things to do that I can't stop and concentrate on one single thing. 

Or that I have so many ideas but I can't quite put my finger on how to express those ideas. It's emotions, it's colors, it's pictures... my head feels so full and it wearies me. I feel like it's going to bubble over and take it with me. I can't keep them all in, but I don't know how to properly let them all out so that they are rightfully understood.

I'm glad there are so many, but handling them is too much. I need to find a way. Screaming as loud as I can was my first thought, while curling up to sleep and see them in my dreams is an incredibly close second.

I wish it was easy (unfortunately we all wish that :( ) but I'm glad it isn't. Something tells me I need to look at them all, separate them one by one and examine them, figuring out what each one means to me and ultimately what it says about me. Some of these can be explained with words, but only a select few. 

The rest are secret puzzles of myself. If only I had time to look into it more... alas, I have come full circle.