... at least, since my days in school. That was... hmmmm, wow... a few years ago.
It's nice... but I have to be honest, it's nearing the end of my fourth day of vacation and I'm finally starting to feel the effects of relaxation.
It's like an overall feeling of happiness. Or maybe, a cloud of calm coming over me.
This vacation, though is different than the "summer breaks" of school days. It's slightly an odd realization. I remember those days that I got out off of school...
For the first few weeks I would be absolutely tired, exhausted and worn out. Those weeks usually consisted of sleeping in to the late hours of the day (around noon) and then lounging around doing absolutely nothing. It PROBABLY was wonderful, but I really couldn't tell you. I was pretty much out of it with a head full of what I assumed to be marshmellows... cotton balls.... fluffy tissues... pretty much anything that consists mostly of air.
When I finally came to, I usually had to spend another week or two trying to convince myself that I didn't have a paper to write or a project to finish. It was awful really... a time filled with a strange anxiety. After those weeks I usually just accepted there was nothing I HAD to do and would spend the next few days realizing I could do anything. Blissful times, if I recall. Usually, at this point, there was SOME kind of family vacation.
And then came the absolute WORST time period: the stage of boredom. The times when I realized there WAS nothing I had to do and it bothered me. Actually bothered me. It was summer vacation from school! I should have been happy I had nothing to do!
It drove me absolutely bonkers.
Even my mom used to tell me I needed to learn to relax. And by the time I did, it was time to go back to school. Darn.
Yea, I've never been really good at that kind of thing. Relaxing, that is. Oops. Life Fail, I guess.
Now, however, things have changed. There aren't weeks of exhaustion, weeks of denial and weeks of unneccesary stress. My first couple days I was tired, but now I've accepted. Much more quickly than I have accepted before. Days. It took DAYS.
That is amazing.
I accept there is nothing I HAVE to do and can focus on the things I WANT to do.
Wow... what a concept.
I guess I'm growing in the world of life lessons. This lesson? Forgetting the knick-knack world of work and knowing that to really feel content and get what you want done, you have to let go of the office, the cubicle and, in my case, the patient. You have to walk away from everything and become part of the world as is, not the world as we created. To become familiar again with the ebb and flow of life and what better place to do that then at the beach? Listening to the lovely waves and exploring tidepools. On top of it, I'm with my family... the people that I depend on.
But back to my main point... a place I veer from quite often in my life.
Work vacation is different than school vacation.
As my mom put it, she said when you're at school, you know how long you'll be busy and the months you'll be off. You basically know you can give your all and recuperate in the time afterward. However, at work, your vacation time is not particularly guaranteed. So, in response, you learn to pace yourself in a different way... so you don't burn out.
Wow... I couldn't have explained it better myself.
Happy Summers all!
