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:)
Monday, April 27, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Dragging dragging dragging
Tomorrow I have to work. Tomorrow I have to rehearse. Tomorrow I have to party. Tomorrow I have to be happy. Tomorrow I have to make a step towards weekend homework. Is any of this fair? It's life, Caitlin. Wake up and smell the coffee. Which is what you'll be drinking tomorrow since you have to be at work around 8 am. What am I still doing up? Crazy thoughts going through my head as I listen to Coldplay's "The Scientist". Why have I made this song so sad and important to me? Damn you Coldplay!! Actually, I love you Coldplay. Whoever loved me most would buy me tickets to Coldplay. OOOOOO...I've never thought of where I would like to be proposed to but a Coldplay concert while The Scientist is playing would be ideal. Of course, they would have to be playing the song, but why wouldn't they?? It's an amazing song! I think so anyway. Of course I'm going to keep blabbering about this song. BUT ANYWAY I've gotten a place to stay in San Jose while I continue at my city job and find a new one to take over while I wait for other jobs to come around. I know they will. In fact, tomorrow will be my day. It's Friday, but I have a feeling that a position will come to me. There's no doubt about it. I've waited sooooo long. I mean, when it comes down to how long others have been waiting in exchange, it's nothing. BUT for me it's been awhile. I'm confused. How can I write this blabble and yet not write homework? SOOO weird. Maybe it's because I'm tired. I'm tired of school life right now. I want to write what I want to write. It's so silly.
Well...I'm going to be going to bed soon because, like I said before, I have to get up early tomorrow. Sad sad sad....my life my life my ife. I really mean ife. IFE IFE IFE...hehehehehee. I love that!!
SEE YA!
Well...I'm going to be going to bed soon because, like I said before, I have to get up early tomorrow. Sad sad sad....my life my life my ife. I really mean ife. IFE IFE IFE...hehehehehee. I love that!!
SEE YA!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
The perfect song for how I feel...
Sia - "I'm just the girl that you lost to concaine"
I've stuck around, through thick and through thin
You cannot deny, I've always been in
But I've watched you stand, still as a snowman
But I don't see you change, you're always at meltdown
Yeah I've been your crutch, your smell sight and touch
Yeah I took you home when you've drunk too much
But I can't survive, with you by my side
See I'll never get laid, while I'm running your life
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate
So just cut me loose, learn to tie your shoes
There's somebody here, I'd like to introduce
So look in the mirror, look for the glass'
Cause you're not my problem, you are my last
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
I'm just a girl that you lost to cocaine
I've stuck around, through thick and through thin
You cannot deny, I've always been in
But I've watched you stand, still as a snowman
But I don't see you change, you're always at meltdown
Yeah I've been your crutch, your smell sight and touch
Yeah I took you home when you've drunk too much
But I can't survive, with you by my side
See I'll never get laid, while I'm running your life
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate
So just cut me loose, learn to tie your shoes
There's somebody here, I'd like to introduce
So look in the mirror, look for the glass'
Cause you're not my problem, you are my last
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
I'm just a girl that you lost to cocaine
Boys Suck...Get a Dog
I believe my title says it all... and it's true. At least, I don't think that they mean to suck, per say, but they do... they really do. THUS I've decided I'm going to change that old quote to this:
"The more I meet guys...the more I love dogs."
It's true. Someone once said that dogs are easy, you don't have to work for their love. But really, at the end of the day, when your tired and you've been perhaps yelled at or demanded to...do you really want to WORK for LOVE? Indeed, speaking of the topic, in any situation, should we really have to WORK for love? I don't believe that it should be work. At least, not in the "I have to work to gain someone's attention" sort of way. At least, I don't believe that. It's hurtful...to both a person's mental state and soul.
THUS... I've realized something: I've had to work for love for FAAAAARRRRR too long and, frankly, I'm done. And in the wrong sense of the word too.
You hear that? I'm done working. I want love to come to me easily for once. It will come, I know it will, because I'm ready for it and I'm going to focus my positive energy towards that goal. I'm not going to SEARCH or WORK for it... I'm going to let it come to me. LOVE LOVE LOVE... it's important to feel love.
I felt love tonight. I really did and I didn't have to work for it. You see, someone broke up with me...for the final time. They said they loved me and I believe that, at one time, they did. It hurt to find LOVE left so quickly and, well, to me, so abruptly. BUT it's time, right? If LOVE is not there... why WORK? As I lay down tonight...I realized that I have LOVE around me... friends, family...something I don't have to WORK for. LOVE is there. And I didn't even focus positive energy!!!!!!!!
What will happen when I do? Will LOVE come in more bounds? Waves? Acres? Whatcha call it? I hope so because I'm ready for LOVE. Not WORK.
Positive energy. Positive energy. Positive energy.
Oh, look... I think I see someone... :)
"The more I meet guys...the more I love dogs."
It's true. Someone once said that dogs are easy, you don't have to work for their love. But really, at the end of the day, when your tired and you've been perhaps yelled at or demanded to...do you really want to WORK for LOVE? Indeed, speaking of the topic, in any situation, should we really have to WORK for love? I don't believe that it should be work. At least, not in the "I have to work to gain someone's attention" sort of way. At least, I don't believe that. It's hurtful...to both a person's mental state and soul.
THUS... I've realized something: I've had to work for love for FAAAAARRRRR too long and, frankly, I'm done. And in the wrong sense of the word too.
You hear that? I'm done working. I want love to come to me easily for once. It will come, I know it will, because I'm ready for it and I'm going to focus my positive energy towards that goal. I'm not going to SEARCH or WORK for it... I'm going to let it come to me. LOVE LOVE LOVE... it's important to feel love.
I felt love tonight. I really did and I didn't have to work for it. You see, someone broke up with me...for the final time. They said they loved me and I believe that, at one time, they did. It hurt to find LOVE left so quickly and, well, to me, so abruptly. BUT it's time, right? If LOVE is not there... why WORK? As I lay down tonight...I realized that I have LOVE around me... friends, family...something I don't have to WORK for. LOVE is there. And I didn't even focus positive energy!!!!!!!!
What will happen when I do? Will LOVE come in more bounds? Waves? Acres? Whatcha call it? I hope so because I'm ready for LOVE. Not WORK.
Positive energy. Positive energy. Positive energy.
Oh, look... I think I see someone... :)
Sunday, April 5, 2009
What Grapes of Wrath Means to Me...
What is it like to be 14 years old again? More to the point, what was it like to be 14 years old experiencing the Dust Bowl?
That is the question that I had to ask myself when I was cast as the character of Ruthie in NDNU’s production of The Grapes of Wrath.
Let me tell you a little bit about my character. She is 14 years old and the second to youngest in her family (the youngest is her little brother Winfield, who’s 10). It’s a big family and includes mostly males, except for her older sister Rose of Sharon who’s pregnant. Thus, it’s tomboy life for Ruthie, except, since she is reaching the age of puberty, she’s finding that she’s actually pretty proud of her womanish body. Feeling the mothering instinct beginning to crawl into her brain, she’s constantly20taking care of Winfield and rolling her eyes at his young boy ways.
As the play begins, Ruthie’s family is getting ready to go to California and look for work. If anyone is familiar with the story of Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath, they know Ruthie’s family is experiencing the results of the Dust Bowl and stock market collapse. They have been forced to move off their farm and now have no home and no work. So it’s off to California, where the fields are green and the work plentiful.
But that’s hardly what they find.
However, you’ll have to come to see the play to experience that.
My question, though, still remained: What is it like to be 14 years old and experiencing the Dust Bowl?
One word: Exciting.
Hardly the word you expected, right?
But it’s true. And I didn’t have far to look for an example either. All I have to look at is how the U.S. is today, with its falling stock market and bleak job outlook for everyone.
That’s not the point, though, because I had to look at it from a different point of view. One that was much younger and more hopeful.
In The Grapes of Wrath, much like today, the younger generation is the one that is hopeful because the failings of the older generation is showing them what they can do to change things. It is offering them a moment to put forth their knowledge and show people what they can do. In the play, Ruthie is hopeful even though her family is experiencing distress. This is because it is her time to change. She will not follow the path her parents took because that no longer works.
Times are changing and she is one of the cogs in that new machine. Ruthie is excited because she knows she will survive.
That is just like today.
Times are changing, but there is a new generation who has a lot to prove and is excited to prove that they can succeed and survive. That concept fits with me as a graduating college student. Here I am, almost done with my education, and I’m entering this bleak job market. I’m excited, though, because I have a lot to prove and I’m ready to prove it. My own personal Dust Bowl is not a time of depression, but a time of new beginnings and I’m going to survive.
That is the question that I had to ask myself when I was cast as the character of Ruthie in NDNU’s production of The Grapes of Wrath.
Let me tell you a little bit about my character. She is 14 years old and the second to youngest in her family (the youngest is her little brother Winfield, who’s 10). It’s a big family and includes mostly males, except for her older sister Rose of Sharon who’s pregnant. Thus, it’s tomboy life for Ruthie, except, since she is reaching the age of puberty, she’s finding that she’s actually pretty proud of her womanish body. Feeling the mothering instinct beginning to crawl into her brain, she’s constantly20taking care of Winfield and rolling her eyes at his young boy ways.
As the play begins, Ruthie’s family is getting ready to go to California and look for work. If anyone is familiar with the story of Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath, they know Ruthie’s family is experiencing the results of the Dust Bowl and stock market collapse. They have been forced to move off their farm and now have no home and no work. So it’s off to California, where the fields are green and the work plentiful.
But that’s hardly what they find.
However, you’ll have to come to see the play to experience that.
My question, though, still remained: What is it like to be 14 years old and experiencing the Dust Bowl?
One word: Exciting.
Hardly the word you expected, right?
But it’s true. And I didn’t have far to look for an example either. All I have to look at is how the U.S. is today, with its falling stock market and bleak job outlook for everyone.
That’s not the point, though, because I had to look at it from a different point of view. One that was much younger and more hopeful.
In The Grapes of Wrath, much like today, the younger generation is the one that is hopeful because the failings of the older generation is showing them what they can do to change things. It is offering them a moment to put forth their knowledge and show people what they can do. In the play, Ruthie is hopeful even though her family is experiencing distress. This is because it is her time to change. She will not follow the path her parents took because that no longer works.
Times are changing and she is one of the cogs in that new machine. Ruthie is excited because she knows she will survive.
That is just like today.
Times are changing, but there is a new generation who has a lot to prove and is excited to prove that they can succeed and survive. That concept fits with me as a graduating college student. Here I am, almost done with my education, and I’m entering this bleak job market. I’m excited, though, because I have a lot to prove and I’m ready to prove it. My own personal Dust Bowl is not a time of depression, but a time of new beginnings and I’m going to survive.
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