On hold....

I just wanted to let everyone who is interested know... yes, I wish I could still post on my blog, but troubling times have come to my technology world.

First and foremost, I don't have internet where I live.

Second, my computer has died... officially. Cannot be fixed.

Therefore, eventually, this blog WILL continue and postings will be posted when these technological mishaps are taken care of.

Until then.. happy holidays!!! And be on the lookout. I will let everyone know when I can write again.

Dear Real World...

I'm done now... can I go home already?

Seriously?

When I say the word "walkies"....

He looks just plain silly doesn't he? Well, there's nothing I can do about it. Whenever I say "Hey, want to go for a walkies?" he just does this face. You have to admit...it's endearing.

Things have been CRAZYYYYYY these past few months with lots of things going on, including a few medical problems that were highly uncalled for. Seriously. I missed work for an entire weekend. BUT health comes first, right? Still.... I missed those dogs.

I wish I could write something extremely interesting... but the most interesting thing I can offer is this crazy picture of Jack. I figure, it takes awhile to get back into the swing of things so... well, forgive me if my blogs are boring for awhile. I'm TRYING to get back into writing things again. Simply, because I need to. Honestly, writing things out is the only way to get things out sometimes. It's important and I constantly get too busy that I can't do it. That and I live in a place without internet. If I had internet, this would be updated constantly and I would be Twittering like mad... letting y'all know what exactly I'm doing.

Example of pointless tweet that you would get if I had internet: "Oooooo...candles"

See? But you want that don't you? Hahaha! I knew it.

So, Halloween is coming, perhaps my FAVORITE holiday, as well as another favorite holiday of mine...my birthday! Woohoo!!! This year marks a particularly special birthday... I'm turning 23 on the 23rd. Impressive, huh? I believe that I will start the party at 2300 hours. Fun, huh?

Riiiiiggghhhht.

And I will have 23 different drinks and 23 different foods and.... 232323232323!

Forgive me if I get a little too excited.

I just scrolled up and looked at Jack again. That picture always makes me laugh. I had it on the back of my phone screen for awhile. Amused me every time!

Well, I hope to write back ASAP... maybe even tomorrow if I have something interesting to say.. or maybe just another picture.

Thinking at work....

I had a thought the other day and it was a pretty good one too, but before I could write it all down it got away from me to hide in the dark recesses of my mind. It sucks, really.... that thought had quite a lot of potential for greatness. And it's sad because I can imagine everyone in this world is equivalent to being a thought...destined for greatness...but sometimes we get lost along the way.

I know, right? I wrote the above while I was at work and put it away in my planner. Later, I read it and thought...that's pretty deep and I liked it.

So my life is slowly spinning into the lovely chaos that I love and call home. I'm in the position now to have three separate jobs: dance teacher, office assistant, and doggie daycare team member. All are pretty much part time (the dance teaching is two hours a week) but I think I like it this way. I'm spread out into three different possible directions so I should never be bored about life. That, and it will help me to choose the best path for myself. I still apply to different things but until I find out what is going on with my city job as an office assistant, I think I'll keep it silent for awhile. It's nice to look for something, for sure, but I don't know...I'm kind of packed with my schedule.

Not to mention!! I have rehearsals for my upcoming show. I have written a short play that will be in the NDNU fall festival!! YAY! I'm directing it as well. It's about this guy. He walks into a bar and starts talking to this women only to realize that she is Death and waiting for him.

Interesting, right?

Yea...kinda depressing too, but I like it and I hope other people will take to it. It's basically saying to live life to the fullest because you never know what is going to happen.

I'm at the coffee shop right now. Yea, I know, it's simply my internet cafe. LOVELY. It reminds me of when I went to Ireland and constantly hit up internet cafes for email time.

1 pound - 30 minutes.

Plus a lovely cup of espresso.

IRISH espresso.

I can't wait to go back and I know I will. For now, though, I have to save up money for my next adventure: San Diego to visit Melanie at law school. Not for awhile though.

ANYWAY......I've got to go. I've got to find my monologues for my next audition.

Yea...I have one. WOOOOOHOOOO!

hehehehehe

What's in a name?

Sooooo I'm back at home for the weekend (Love you Modesto!!! Rock on! Peace! Love!....oh, crap, I'm not at a concert yet) which means I get to do both all my laundry and search the internet at my leisure. I've been on for awhile now and I've tweeted at least three times, checked out the sneak peeks for New Moon (go werewolves!!! -- which I must explain why I support the werewolf in a later blog but for now I will just say wouldn't it be fabulous to run through the forest at night?), checked out my concert schedule (woohoo! Jason Mraz!) and now I'm blogging again and claiming that I will do so for a much longer time.

NOW I've decided that I wanted to find out the meaning of my name, which, is pretty interestingly freaking dead-on. Here was the analysis they sent me:

• Your first name of Caitlin has given you energy, drive, and ambition, but also an almost excessively strong-willed and independent nature.
  
• While you are creative, inventive, and ingenious in practical matters, and always ready to initiate and promote new undertakings, you often experience difficulty in bringing your undertakings to a successful conclusion because of your own changing interests or changing circumstances.
• Though the name Caitlin creates the urge to be creative and original, we call attention to the challenge of controlling temper as a result of a highly intense, dissatisfied, and restless quality.

For all of you who know me...you know this IS me.

Damn.

Anyway, I'm going to enjoy my weekend by going to a few movies including (500) Days of Summer, with my girl-crush Zooey, and then Harry Potter of course, which I sadly haven't seen yet. It's something that I would prefer doing with my dad since we both read all the books. It's much more fun that way.

Which reminds me...what is everyone reading now? I'm reading The Kite Runner and can hardly put it down for fear that I will lose the story within.

Cheers!

Apartment Search Continues...

It's rather amazing how many apartments one can go through before they feel like they're done with the entire process. My count: one.

Honestly, it's quite a hastle and I must continue because there is a chance that they will charge my room mates and I an extra $2,000 deposit JUST because we don't make enough money. Funny how that works, huh?

My mom said it sort of makes sense, saying that the people are just covering their ass, BUT I still feel like shouting: NOT FAIR.

Alas, I shall continue. There are a couple of other places I have yet to try AND I've learned about all the new questions that I need to ask. Take one lesson learned, right??? It works.

Real life sucks. I remember people telling me that back when I was going to college but I didn't believe them. Or, I think I believed them on some level of understanding but refused to accept such a fate. HOWEVER, I cannot escape it and now I sit here in a coffee shop typing my blog because my place doesn't have internet or cable. I could probably hook it up, true, but I'm not sure yet. I've gotten quite a bit of reading done and maybe I could do some writing still. BUT that's the other thing I've learned: people inspire me. When I was around my room mates I was constantly writing. Now, I've got nothing.

Grrrrrrrr.

Perhaps that will soon change, seeing as, since I don't make enough money, I could use a best seller right now, right? hahahahahahaha!

Anyway... things are going fairly well. I'm still working at the City of Belmont and I've found that it can be quite enjoying. I just wish I could get a full time job there. Not necessarily for the money, although that would help, but because I want to feel like I belong somewhere. Right now, I'm still considered temporary and, well, that doesn't make me feel very secure. I just want to know how things will turn out, what my options are.

Again, grrrrrrrrr.

SO the picture above is Jack! He's such a good boy! Perhaps the only thing that feels like it's going somewhere because training has such an organization to it!

Living in Willow Glen

OMG...I hate to use those three letters, but there is really nothing else I can say. My life has been through some crazy times in the last month or so...

For starters, I graduated. CRAZY.

Second, I moved to Willow Glen and now I'm living in a very happy little neighborhood in a small little studio that I'm getting used to.

Third, I have a new puppy dog. Say hello to Jack!

Unfortunately my new little place is a lacking a few things, including internet, but that's actually proven to be not a problem. Just down the street from me (within walking distance) is a great little coffee shop which has both free wi-fi AND is dog friendly!

Thus, I live here.

What I Want to See...

http://sfoutsidelands.com/index.php

Check it ouuuuut.

Donations towards my presence at this festival are being accepted now.

:)

Dragging dragging dragging

Tomorrow I have to work. Tomorrow I have to rehearse. Tomorrow I have to party. Tomorrow I have to be happy. Tomorrow I have to make a step towards weekend homework. Is any of this fair? It's life, Caitlin. Wake up and smell the coffee. Which is what you'll be drinking tomorrow since you have to be at work around 8 am. What am I still doing up? Crazy thoughts going through my head as I listen to Coldplay's "The Scientist". Why have I made this song so sad and important to me? Damn you Coldplay!! Actually, I love you Coldplay. Whoever loved me most would buy me tickets to Coldplay. OOOOOO...I've never thought of where I would like to be proposed to but a Coldplay concert while The Scientist is playing would be ideal. Of course, they would have to be playing the song, but why wouldn't they?? It's an amazing song! I think so anyway. Of course I'm going to keep blabbering about this song. BUT ANYWAY I've gotten a place to stay in San Jose while I continue at my city job and find a new one to take over while I wait for other jobs to come around. I know they will. In fact, tomorrow will be my day. It's Friday, but I have a feeling that a position will come to me. There's no doubt about it. I've waited sooooo long. I mean, when it comes down to how long others have been waiting in exchange, it's nothing. BUT for me it's been awhile. I'm confused. How can I write this blabble and yet not write homework? SOOO weird. Maybe it's because I'm tired. I'm tired of school life right now. I want to write what I want to write. It's so silly.

Well...I'm going to be going to bed soon because, like I said before, I have to get up early tomorrow. Sad sad sad....my life my life my ife. I really mean ife. IFE IFE IFE...hehehehehee. I love that!!

SEE YA!

The perfect song for how I feel...

Sia - "I'm just the girl that you lost to concaine"

I've stuck around, through thick and through thin
You cannot deny, I've always been in
But I've watched you stand, still as a snowman
But I don't see you change, you're always at meltdown

Yeah I've been your crutch, your smell sight and touch
Yeah I took you home when you've drunk too much
But I can't survive, with you by my side
See I'll never get laid, while I'm running your life

No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate

So just cut me loose, learn to tie your shoes
There's somebody here, I'd like to introduce
So look in the mirror, look for the glass'
Cause you're not my problem, you are my last

No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate

No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
I'm just a girl that you lost to cocaine

Boys Suck...Get a Dog

I believe my title says it all... and it's true. At least, I don't think that they mean to suck, per say, but they do... they really do. THUS I've decided I'm going to change that old quote to this:

"The more I meet guys...the more I love dogs."

It's true. Someone once said that dogs are easy, you don't have to work for their love. But really, at the end of the day, when your tired and you've been perhaps yelled at or demanded to...do you really want to WORK for LOVE? Indeed, speaking of the topic, in any situation, should we really have to WORK for love? I don't believe that it should be work. At least, not in the "I have to work to gain someone's attention" sort of way. At least, I don't believe that. It's hurtful...to both a person's mental state and soul.

THUS... I've realized something: I've had to work for love for FAAAAARRRRR too long and, frankly, I'm done. And in the wrong sense of the word too.

You hear that? I'm done working. I want love to come to me easily for once. It will come, I know it will, because I'm ready for it and I'm going to focus my positive energy towards that goal. I'm not going to SEARCH or WORK for it... I'm going to let it come to me. LOVE LOVE LOVE... it's important to feel love.

I felt love tonight. I really did and I didn't have to work for it. You see, someone broke up with me...for the final time. They said they loved me and I believe that, at one time, they did. It hurt to find LOVE left so quickly and, well, to me, so abruptly. BUT it's time, right? If LOVE is not there... why WORK? As I lay down tonight...I realized that I have LOVE around me... friends, family...something I don't have to WORK for. LOVE is there. And I didn't even focus positive energy!!!!!!!!

What will happen when I do? Will LOVE come in more bounds? Waves? Acres? Whatcha call it? I hope so because I'm ready for LOVE. Not WORK.

Positive energy. Positive energy. Positive energy.

Oh, look... I think I see someone... :)

What Grapes of Wrath Means to Me...

What is it like to be 14 years old again? More to the point, what was it like to be 14 years old experiencing the Dust Bowl?

That is the question that I had to ask myself when I was cast as the character of Ruthie in NDNU’s production of The Grapes of Wrath.

Let me tell you a little bit about my character. She is 14 years old and the second to youngest in her family (the youngest is her little brother Winfield, who’s 10). It’s a big family and includes mostly males, except for her older sister Rose of Sharon who’s pregnant. Thus, it’s tomboy life for Ruthie, except, since she is reaching the age of puberty, she’s finding that she’s actually pretty proud of her womanish body. Feeling the mothering instinct beginning to crawl into her brain, she’s constantly20taking care of Winfield and rolling her eyes at his young boy ways.
As the play begins, Ruthie’s family is getting ready to go to California and look for work. If anyone is familiar with the story of Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath, they know Ruthie’s family is experiencing the results of the Dust Bowl and stock market collapse. They have been forced to move off their farm and now have no home and no work. So it’s off to California, where the fields are green and the work plentiful.

But that’s hardly what they find.

However, you’ll have to come to see the play to experience that.

My question, though, still remained: What is it like to be 14 years old and experiencing the Dust Bowl?

One word: Exciting.

Hardly the word you expected, right?

But it’s true. And I didn’t have far to look for an example either. All I have to look at is how the U.S. is today, with its falling stock market and bleak job outlook for everyone.
That’s not the point, though, because I had to look at it from a different point of view. One that was much younger and more hopeful.

In The Grapes of Wrath, much like today, the younger generation is the one that is hopeful because the failings of the older generation is showing them what they can do to change things. It is offering them a moment to put forth their knowledge and show people what they can do. In the play, Ruthie is hopeful even though her family is experiencing distress. This is because it is her time to change. She will not follow the path her parents took because that no longer works.

Times are changing and she is one of the cogs in that new machine. Ruthie is excited because she knows she will survive.

That is just like today.

Times are changing, but there is a new generation who has a lot to prove and is excited to prove that they can succeed and survive. That concept fits with me as a graduating college student. Here I am, almost done with my education, and I’m entering this bleak job market. I’m excited, though, because I have a lot to prove and I’m ready to prove it. My own personal Dust Bowl is not a time of depression, but a time of new beginnings and I’m going to survive.

2:00 am and all is well!

I hate all-nighters

Really, seriously. I'm stuck in my room writing a paper while watching "Twilight" because I just couldn't stand the silence around me. Grrrrr.....

Grapes of Wraaaaaath!!!

Upon getting ready....I have to wear lots of make-up for being fourteen again. EXCEPT I'm supposed to be a starving fourteen year-old living in the Dust Bowl . Fun times right? The funny thing is...I'm kind of the comic relief of the show. I don't have many lines, but APPARENTLY I kinda steal the show at times...BITCH YA!

But seriously...it's the Saturday show of hell week and I'm tired...really tired and running primarily on energy drinks. Not coffee. I've moved up in the world of caffiene.

Here's something that I've learned and has rejuvinated my love for being in a show...watching behind the scenes footage on a dvd. It just really puts you in the mood to be a part of something cool like this...being other people and telling stories as a character.

I cannot wait until my parents come to see this show! It's a depressing show, but we try to make it hopeful (again, I'm the comic relief, along with my little 'brother' Winfield.). I mean, it's the Great Depression, but we try. I like the meanings behind it. I don't what I'm going to do when I'm out of college theatre. Community theatre, perhaps. I enjoy it. I really do. I love theatre. I wish it wasn't so political but it's just something that you have to deal with...for example, like having to start entry-level in public relations. You just have to deal with it.

As you can see, I have my camera and connecting cord back! Yay! That means more pictures from me! Expect them often. As well as more writing. My problem is that I've been soooooo busy lately. I still am, but, it's getting better.

I'm waiting for my laundry. It's in the dryer. I can't go down to the theatre until that laundry is done because I'm not going to leave it alone for a few hours. Not at the NDNU laundry room!

But...I've gtg...Haley is going to kill me!

Spring Break...Day One

I'm thinking of making a post every day of my spring break...which is actually a rather boring little spring break. I'm working every day....I mean, it's not bad. In fact, that's the facts of life, isn't it? Once we get out of school...no more spring break!! I'm just...well... entering the world a little soon? But, you see, there's a purpose. For my graduation, to myself (yes, I freakin' deserve it!!!!) I'm giving myself a miniature australian shepherd puppy. YAY!!!! My first puppy on my own. And it's perfect!

SOOOOOOO...I've got work. And I thought spring break would be a perfect time to put in extra hours. My only problem....I'm here, in the dorm room, all my myself (chime in music please). However, I have Alice and PLENTY of movies..compliments to Haley (yes, I've Firefly and it's awesome). There's plenty of things for me to do... the only problem is that I have to do them by myself. THUS, I'm keeping myself busy by working eight hours a day. Four at my internship and four at my actual paid work. Today, I just worked my internship, but tomorrow...my full day starts. We'll see what happens. I doubt I will mind.

Jeesey petes! It's lonely here!

I wonder how long it will last until I go insane and start talking to things....ooops. Alice.

When you want a puppy....

I'm pretty sure I'm bipolar. On one level or another, I'm pretty sure of it. One, I'm on anti-depressants and they weren't REALLY working until my doctor added abilify. You know the commercial? But I also realize that I have moments of mania and, afterwards, moments of depression. Not as intense as it used to be but I'm pretty sure that is due to the different medications. Crazy, right??

I'll have to bring that up to my doctor.

But, this entire week has been one giant manic episode, if I ever saw one. I'm starting to gain sensibility again, which is good...but DAMN I was freakishly obsessed! Every day, I was checking out where to find a dog for my grandma. Seriously. I was checking craigslist and shelters everywhere. I would drive out to shelters around the area, just looking for a little dog for my grandma. It became quite an obsession. I was pretty crazy about.

Well, now I've come down a bit. I don't really care about it anymore. In fact, I'm not even that interested. Instead, I was really depressed for a while because I couldn't find the exact one for her. Sad, I know.

But I also learned today that she's not really ready for one anyway..... my bad.

I'm coming down now and I'm really glad because I was pretty obsessed for awhile. I was so obsessed with getting her a puppy that I went shopping to take my mind off of it. It really didn't do much for me. I didn't care for the shopping really. But whatever.

NOW I'm back on obsessing about school. YAY! My work my work! I'll actually start working again!

hehehehe....maybe.

Speaking of pets, Alice is taking a trip to Modesto this week. Not exactly a vacation destination, but whatever. She's going to enjoy some time in the first grade classroom.

Good for Alice!

Join MEEEEE!!!

Does anybody really love me? I just got a Twitter account...FIND ME!!!! I'm caitlin2323! Love me!

I'm back from LALA Land!

I have a new favorite movie!!! hahahahaha! The Tenth Kingdom. This picture here be my favorite character: the wolf guy. Watch it and you'll understand. He's pretty hilarious.

So...where have I been these last couple days, hmm? Well, let me tell you...A.C.T.F.!!

...

Okay, so not everyone knows what this is. For those who don't know, it is a college theatre festival full of workshops and plays. It's a week long and colleges from the region travel far to come to a selected city in the region. This year, the festival took place at Cal State Fullerton. It was pretty fun. I'd never been there before so, I must say, it was QUITE an experience. Perhaps the only thing that really got me down was the fact that I was surrounded by actors who did nothing but act. You know the type. Instead of just being themselves, they were always acting...pretending...making a big deal and showing off to make themselves noticeable. NOW...not EVERYONE was like this...but all it takes is a few to make the workshop become ridiculous. Really now people... remember who you are.

NOW I'm back and I'm totally ready to look at theatre with a whole new perspective. I'm going to experience more and go to more auditions...make myself a portfolio of different monologues and work on them so that I'm more prepared. In reality, I never took theatre as seriously. Well, I accepted it as part of my life, but I never really understood it before. For example, I'm constantly working on my writing. Someone once told me that if I want to be a writer I must constantly both read and write. SO I do. What I didn't realize was that to be an actor I must work on that too. While I keep a portfolio of writings to show people, I forgot to keep up both my acting resume AND my monologues that I know well and keep ready for different auditions.

HAHAHA!!! It all makes sense now. I have to work on everything in theatre the same way that I work on my communications things. Really, now...I didn't even think about this.

NOW I know.

All I can say, though, is that I'm glad to be back because I was starting to miss my normal life. I love acting and theatre but it really is something that I can't do ALL of my life. I enjoy it and it keeps me sane but I also have to have my classes and my life.

Bad Luck

I just have to say that computers hate me... friends don't let me near your computers!!!!!! I was at work today and my computer pooped out... died... fizzed up... whatever you want to call it...  it died a little, uneventful death. Poor thing. 

Computers hate me... and I just learned that it's probably going to cost me $150 to get mine fixed... yikes!!!! That's a mouthful of cash right there!!!

But... you gotta do what you gotta do, right?????

yuck.... I could buy a lot of stuff with that. 

Oh, poo...my computer sucks

I'm so sad at the moment because my real computer is ill...it has, like, 50 billion viruses. I admit, it's my fault. I have ignored the pleas and the cries and the constant warnings that popped up on my screen...sue me.

Well, now I'm in the doghouse. I can AIM people BUT I can't go online (which is a weird conundrum if I do say so myself). I'm stuck checking my e-mail in the computer lab at school. Yuck. I want my own computer again, no matter how slow and stupid it was...ouch, I'm sorry. Did I say slow and stupid? I meant patient and sweet. Does that make a difference? No? Okay then.

My life gets busier and busier as the weeks continue. I'm taking about 18 units, working a few hours, and working at an internship. NOT TO MENTION...I'm supposed to be writing a few news articles for the newspaper. So, yea...not a simple life. But it's working out okay. I'm not losing my hair yet (positive thing) or going to the hospital (which is even more positive!) but I am feeling out of place in a dance that I feel like laughing at...modern...don't ask. I wouldn't be able to explain if you did.

Humdeedum.

Well..I'm off. I just wanted to explain that while I wanted to post more this semester...my computer is acting like a poop so it will be quiet on the western front for a while.

Toodles.

I need some new pictures on here...

Its that time...I need to add some pictures of the life that occurs around me. Unfortunately the hook-up to my camera is at home...so the only pictures that I can add are, sadly, old. But I shall put one on anyway. If you can't tell...it's a baby stroller in a tree. Who knew someone could be that strong... now where's the baby?

I've started my second week of school. It's pretty busy. What's sad is I'm up late AND I have work tomorrow at 8 a.m. I just don't feel like going to sleep yet. Instead. I feel like rambling, ramling, rambling. That's what my mind is doing...I can hear my neighbor's outside my window right now...probably drunk, as usual, but that's what I get for living on a college campus. After living here, I can pretty much live anywhere. I don't care about noise really. As long as someone is not absolutely POUNDING on my door at night and screaming...I'm pretty good.

HAHAHA....life is much better here anyway. More quiet...calm...I have a private room where I can relax when I please. I miss my old room mates but I still get to see them whenever I want... and I hope there are no hard feelings. I don't think so... but I'm letting it roll over me anyway because I'm much more content. Right now, anyway.

I expect to be for awhile.

I feel like I'm constantly writing cover letters at the moment...ooooo, my future awaits!!!!....but seriously, in the last few days I've written two cover letters explaining why I am perfect for this and that job. What I REALLY want to say is:

"PLLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEE hire me? Will you will you will you?"

But that's not professional now is it?

It's almost midnight...I must sleep....yes yes yes...sleep sleep sleep.

Good night.

All I really wanted to do was add a new picture of some sort.

Yay! Back at School

I know most people would think that being back at school would be a BAD thing, but, you see, no one really understands my constant need to be doing things. And, of course, I've actually already gave myself TOO MUCH to do. I can tell. I just know....I have this...feeling. Like the song. FEELINGS.

First of all, I'm taking 18 units. Sure, 6 of these units are dance, but, hey, it's still time that's being used up. I could be doing homework...working...things like that. Second, I have another internship. Third: I have work. Fourth: I'm now volunteering on the weekends. There is also a possibility that more will be brought on, especially considering the theatre and what being a part of that theatre entails.

BUT I like it that way. I already wrote about how bored I was at home...and if I didn't cover that well enough...well, I was bored at home. I liked the break...but four weeks of break at home was quite a bit. I'm enjoying the fact that I have a definite schedule now. It's nice. That and NOTHING is running into one another like last semester, so I'm sure I'll be much happier about that.

Being back at school is better for more than just the creation of a schedule. Now I'm with my friends. We all partied last night and it was a lot of fun. I enjoy hanging with my friends but back in Modesto there isn't much going on. Besides that, all my friends are gone. They all live in the Bay Area now. Which rocks for them but...yea...left behind. Grrrrrrrrrrr.....

NOW I'M BACK BITCHES.

Whew...had to get that out...

Now I'm just rambling but that's okay. I'm just enjoying this. I'm also enjoying the fact that I actually have internet again. BUT that was my fault. I signed up for the internet on Monday and, by Friday I hadn't gotten any connection in my room. Honestly, I was unhappy about this. Incredibly. I was about to go to the tech guys on our campus when I thought I would try one more thing... I looked at the plug. Guess what? IT WAS IN THE DIAL-UP CONNECTOR.

Of course, I look around: "Does anybody see? No, okay...switch."

NOW IT WORKS. But that was obvious now wasn't it?

I'm REALLY glad I didn't go to the tech guys. They're already sexist. If I told them my problem, I could already imagine the looks. Not cool.

I'm watching "It's Me or the Dog". Did anyone know that the Australian Shepherd actually was not created in Australia at all but North America? Crazy. I also thought that was the case...or something similar but, yea...nothing to do with Australia.

I love this program. It makes me laugh. Or cringe. I've cringed before at this show. I'm learning how to take a nervous dog for a walk. This will work for me because Molly hates walks. She's terrified. Doesn't even like to really leave the house unless a frisbee is involved.

Well...I'm off.

Winter Break

I've realized that I live like a princess. Whether that realization is a good thing or bad thing means nothing to me but I just realized this today as I was lying on my bed, reading a book. I found that I live much like princesses do either in medieval times, history, or in any fairytale book that someone would read.

For example: I am able to sleep as long as I want. I could sleep all day if I wanted to. This isn't necessary healthy but I can. Nothing stops me from doing it except for my obsession to actually be doing something throughout the day.

Another example: I take lessons. Sure, I have a job but I go to school and on my free time I am able to read and draw and write and watch television...I mean, you name it and I can do it. Don't princesses take lessons too?

Finally: I can shop and buy things for myself. I have that ability. JUST NOW I'm really starting to pay attention because now it's my money and not an allowance or something. That's crazy!!!

Now, I'm not saying this is a good realization. I'm partly glad that I'm realizing this because I now see how good my life is and how spoiled I am. BUT these days are quickly fading. Soon, I will be joining the work force of life and everything will change. I'm kind of sad...but not really. I mean, think about it: do I really want to be spoiled all my life? Sure, it's good now, but eventually my obsessive compulsiveness is going to make me want to DO things like clean and stuff.

While some people like this realization and want to make it last, I'm not sure. I like the freedom but...who knows?

For now I'll be a princess...but I've never been so offended before.

TOMORROW is the day that Elliot, my foster love, is going back to the shelter. I have to say...I'm rather sad. I've gotten attached to the little bugger. I've been conditioning myself for this next chapter in Elliot's life, but he's enjoying himself so much at my house! I'm sure he thinks that he lives here now and is happy to be away from the shelter and...sleeping on the couch. He's happy I'm sure. I'm just now worried that no one is going to understand him! He's so quirky and shy but once you get past that barrier...well, he's really a sweetheart! He lovebites, but doesn't want to?

Anyway...tomorrow I say good bye to the little fluffball and I'm sad. Poo. He's too sweet to go away now.


Sadsad